The beginning...

Late this March, Russ and I had my youngest half-brother, Ben, come and stay with us for his spring break. We had become aware, earlier in the year, of some problems he was going through in school and at home, and we decided that maybe we could give him a week to get away from home and have some fun. I picked up Ben on a Sunday...and after a series of bad luck....tire blow-out...we made it back to Rexburg, thankfully, in one piece!!! For the first part of the week, we had a lot of fun together, along with my sister Haylee, who came to stay with us as well. Then Wednesday came along...and everything changed!



Here is our story so far:



In a Nut Shell:



My other half-brother Caleb was to be picked up by my oldest sister, Alisha, Wednesday morning at our mom's house. She talked with my mom and got everything worked out. When Alisha and her family arrived at my mom's house, no one was there....or so she thought. So she called my mom, no one answered, so they left. She called me and told me about it. I felt suspicious, so I texted my sister Emma and asked her if she had some time, to go to our mom's house and check things out.



Rewind:



Before Ben came to visit us, Russ and I decided that my mom was doing some things that were unacceptable. We felt that Ben was in a situation, that if gone too far, would put Ben in a bad place he wouldn't want to be. Sometime in January or February, my mom lost her job and this is how: She asked for a week off work and they would not give it to her. She wanted to take a trip to visit a guy she met online. She went anyway, so they fired her. After this first trip, she went on a second one and a third one, to New Mexico, Oregon, Arizona. We don't know how she came up with the money to get to these places. Ben was left with a "friend" of hers. Initially, she planned these trips not intending to tell any family members about them. She also did not want her parents to find out she lost her job. Russ and I decided that enough was enough.



I filed a report with Health and Welfare about the circumstances, also knowing what my dad had seen of my mom's house when he went to pick up Caleb, after my mom decided that it might be better for Caleb to live with him instead of her. The school Caleb and Ben were attending had called my dad in the week before this, worried about the living conditions for Ben and Caleb. The school told my dad that the boys were coming to school not properly fed, with dirty clothes and themselves not clean, the boys were wearing the same clothes during the week, no socks, missing a lot of school, and not turning in homework. Something was up.



Russ and I, after filing a report, decided to start compiling evidence, so that at some point in time, we would have enough to support our claims that my mom was not taking care of Ben. Emma told us that if she had a chance, she would try to get us pictures of my mom's house, that we could use to help our claim. This is why Emma went to my mom's house on Wednesday morning.



Back to the story:



Emma found Caleb upstairs in my mom's bedroom. He was asleep, and so he did not hear Alisha come in, and why Alisha did not think anyone was there. Emma took pictures of everything, and then searched my mom's bedroom where she found a bag of crystal meth, marijuana, and a home-made pipe. These things were all in the room where Caleb was sleeping, easily found and accessible. Emma first called Alisha. She didn't know what to do. At first she was just going to take the drugs, but Alisha warned her that if she got caught in possession, Emma would be charged. Alisha called me and told us about it, and I told her I would call the police. Right then I got a call from Emma. She had called the police, and they were there as well as workers from Health and Welfare. They were going to take Caleb out of the home and declared the home unsafe for the boys to return to. I then got a call from a social worker, who told us that since Ben was in our home with us, we were given protective custody of Ben until further notice. Caleb would go to a temporary foster home until my dad got back in town.



It seemed like a crazy whirlwind of events the rest of that week, and we were all in shock by the quickness of the changes that took place! We had been praying for this very thing to happen, that we would be able to find a way to help Ben get out of the home and into a better situation, we just didn't know how long it would take us. Then, so suddenly, everything just fell right into our laps! Everything happened at the right time and in the right place. We felt certain that the Lord's hand was in this and we had but to be so grateful that everything happened so easily.

We went back to Twin Falls that weekend to bring Haylee back, and then had to come back again for a court hearing in April. Before the court date, I was called by the social worker on the case, and told that if Russ and I did not get an attorney and try for guardianship, then Ben would have to go to a foster home because Russ and I had no custody rights, and no one could get in contact with my mom. So, Russ and I took a BIG breath, and decided to find an attorney! With the help of my grandparents, we found a younger attorney, new in the field, and working for his father, a well known and respected lawyer.

Still feeling the shock...we now had to deal with the reality that we would be the guardians of a 9-yr-old boy! Some moments were more than I could handle.

Through the whole process, we literally had little to no contact with my mom, we had no idea where she was, and she did not appear to any of the three court dates. When I did finally talk to her, she was talking so fast, stuttering, and repeating words over and over. She denied having any drugs in her house and had no idea where they came from or why Emma would lie about finding drugs in her room. The sad part in all of this is that we all have known for years and years that she was doing drugs...the only person my mom was fooling was herself. Things are very crazy, mixed up, and unpredictable when you are dealing with a drug addict. My mom is so addicted to drugs, that she will do everything in her power to protect her drug habit. A drug-addicts worst nightmare is to have to go without their drugs. My mom's little plan crashed down on her, and she was very angry about it. Luckily...Ben no longer has to suffer from her choices anymore.

As for the outcome with Caleb. My dad, out of his better judgement, allowed Caleb to see our mom for his spring break. My dad was going to be out of town anyway, and did not feel good about leaving Caleb at home alone for the longer periods of time. Caleb really wanted to see my mom, and so my dad let it be. He admits now, that it was his biggest mistake. Caleb stayed with a foster family for a few days. He had to be drug tested, and his test came back positive. The count was 15, which is really high for someone NOT doing drugs. If he were doing them, the count would be much higher. The amount of drugs that my mom and all the other people were doing at her home was potent enough that it was affecting Caleb and Ben. Ben would have had to take a drug test too, but we cut his hair while he was with us, and they said his hair was probably too short. I am sure Ben's test would have come back positive too. And yet my mom denies ever doing drugs.

My dad had to go to court, facing charges because he left Caleb in my mom's care. My dad faced the possibility of not getting back custody of Caleb because of all this. But, my dad did what he had to do. He told the Health and Welfare department if they wanted to drug test him, then he would do it. So they did, and he came back negative. He then told them if they wanted to check his house, to make sure it was a good place for Caleb to stay, they could. So they did that too, and they found it a very safe and good place for Caleb. At our last court date, all the charges were dropped against my dad, Caleb got to come home, and everything would be fine as long as Caleb was no longer allowed to see my mom again unless it was a supervised visit. Caleb is not actually my dad's son. When Caleb was born, my dad signed the birth certificate, and so has taken responsibility for him. Though my dad has made some mistakes in the past, he has gone far above and beyond what many men would do for a boy who is not their own. My dad is helping Caleb now to have a happy and productive life, and my dad has tried to keep the best attitude about it all, for the sake of Caleb's happiness, and for that I truly admire my dad. I can honestly say that I am happy and proud to be his daughter.

As for Ben...we go to court this Thursday concerning the guardianship. I do not know if my mom will show up or not, nonetheless, we feel very confidant that we will be awarded guardianship without much contesting. Having guardianship is just like having sole custody of Ben. We will get to set the rules on what my mom has to do or not do to see Ben. What we have decided so far is that before my mom can see Ben, she must take a drug test. She can only see Ben under supervision of any family members we feel will respect our wishes and not allow Ben to go anywhere with my mom alone. Ben will not be allowed to stay with my mom in her home. If my mom wants custody back, she must successfully complete a drug re-hab program and then stay clean for a certain amount of time after completing the program. She must also take parenting classes and go to classes to help her get over her gambling addiction. If needs be, we will keep Ben with us until he graduates. Ben does not deserve to live the way he was, and to have no supervision and have no one to help him learn to be responsible or to help him get through school.

This has been quite the journey so far, and there is still so much to say about Ben and our lives being meshed together! Throughout all of this, we have had so much support from both of our families and we are so grateful for them and their prayers and good thoughts, and advice. We couldn't have done this without all of you! Thank you so much!

Stay tuned for more about Ben! Please, if you have any questions, post them in a comment, and I will reply with a post to answer any you might have.